I didn’t realise the roots of my jealousy could run so deep for a boy who wasn’t even mine.
And with Sam, I had never felt this way before – I didn’t need to. Girls weren’t exactly throwing themselves at him, and he only had eyes for me, since the beginning.
But with him, it was more complicated than that.
The third whistle.
It was our turn to come in, and introduce the players.
This is how cheerleading usually went – you had to start the game, cheer the last two minutes before half time was up, then cheer at the end, if your team won that was.
The first game wasn’t so big, as our college played against Lake Washington – over the progression of the season, more and more competitive teams were thrown into the mix.
We won them all, and so we moved up the ranks fairly quickly.
Until of course, we didn’t.
But I’ll stay in the present, for now.
I took up my position behind Mia as the players moved aside, passing the crowd attention on to us.
I could almost throw up in that moment.
The lights secured on either side of the stands’ posts, two large black boxes emitting blinding rays, straight at my face.
I had to face forwards, and not break stand.
But it was almost impossible.
I could barely see anyone sitting before me due to these lights – but in a way I was thankful for that, because I didn’t even want to imagine Lil’s face twisted in laughter at me right now.
I must’ve looked mortified.
Because I was .
But then the strangest thing happened.
The girls began their chants, and I was sucked in. My body moved to the words, my hands clapping in unison with theirs. As it should. My legs kicked up, and for a second I forgot about my short skirt, my hair not being blond like the rest of these girls’, my height not matching theirs.
I moved as one with them as I joined in the cheer, and had finished the choreography before I even started, with a little shake of my Pom Pom.
And the feeling of accomplishing something as smooth as that on my first try, in front of such a large audience, was magical.
It’s like for the short period of time in which we cheered, I became a different person. More confident. More brave. More forward.
And I loved this version of me. I was thriving, and the glow on my face must’ve been so silly.
But I wasn’t out of breath by the end of it like the other girls, I was pumped on energy.
This was strange, because I literally hated every minute of practice leading up to this moment. But I guess I needed the atmosphere, and I needed to be doing the real thing to experience a feeling as great as I did.
Who knew that Dove Addison, the Literature freak with post it notes and “to do lists” glued to her forehead was able to pull off the performance, and actually enjoy herself while doing it.
The crowd was ecstatic, and so was I.
And for a split second, the image of Theo had slipped my mind.
We watched tentatively as the match begun. I surprised myself by paying such close attention, even though I didn’t understand a thing that was going on. I still don’t entirely get this sport. But the boys got so into it, it was quite the sight. I laughed at the idea of being one of those girls who was on the cheerleading team and cheered her super hot, athletic boyfriend on as he played.
Funny how these things can become your reality, or at least close to.
When the whistle was once again blown, indicating half time, the crowd rushed down from the stands to high five and congratulate the players on their performance so far. I heard a couple of mentions of the score being 2-0 to us, which was also displayed on a big screen above the stands, but it’s not like I actually understood what that meant.
Twenty minutes until the second half.
“I’m so proud of each and every one of you. That was a beautiful opening cheer. We have fifteen minutes, before we need to be back out there for round two. Get ready,” the coach informed us, and I decided to go look for Lilian during the break, but after getting lost in the swarm of bodies out onto the pitch, without any luck of reaching her, I go back to the team, isolating myself slightly by leaning against the low fencing that lined the bottom of the stands.
And then I feel a cold hand on my wrist, and immediately spun around to meet those green eyes that have haunted me for what seems like forever and a day now.
Him.
“Come with me,” he said, and before I could speak up, interrogate him, even fully take him in, he drags me to the back of the stands, away from the crowd.
And then as soon as he had me pinned against the stands wall, he placed his palms flat against it, either side of my head, before crashing his lips onto mine.
The feeling was exquisite, and I didn’t realise how much I had missed his lips on mine until I found myself giving in and kissing him back, with full force. He moaned into the kiss, as if he was relieved to be kissing me – and the feeling was mutual, because for four days I had been trying to get a hold of him, to find him again, and he wasn’t there for me to reach.
But then after a few seconds, my mind catches up to my actions, and I build up the strength to push his body off mine, receiving a groan of annoyance from him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I gasp, our chests moving in unison as we both attempt to catch our breaths.