“I have laid with females before you and I do not expect forgiveness for that but know that I seek it. I was not taught well to prepare myself for you. I did not expect to find you either rather I did not wish to find you. But I promise you, I shall never lay eyes on another female but you. I shall stand by you at all times. I shall hold you dear to my heart.” A smile threatens to come upon my face as well to his words. It feels as though a weight is being lifted off my shoulders as if we are truly meeting for the first time. It is pristine, exciting. I wish to be pulled into it further. If this were how our bond began at first, would our relationship be different?
“I have never laid with a male before.” His eyes are swift to move away shame looming over him crawling up his spine. He cannot meet my eyes, he feels burdened by his past deeds. “It does not necessarily mean I saved myself for you rather I was able to satisfy myself and did not need a male for it.” I murmur whilst peeking down at my hands placed upon my lap. “How do you find me?”
He beams whilst he digests my question to him. “I find you to be a goddess, not just any goddess but one meant to be mine. Your beauty cannot be compared, but your soul that I get glimpses of. Your soul is extraordinary, I am truly blessed to have you as my female.” His truth surprises me but also bring me comfort. This is the first I have felt him being so direct and unhesitant with his emotions. “And what about you? How do you find me?”
“You are good looking. Too attractive I suppose.” I mutter with no hesitation going straight to the point as his eyes widen and a loud laugh booms from his chest. I watch him laugh as he holds his belly, teeth on display lips curved up at the side. A beautiful sight indeed. Soft giggles leave my lips joining in with his cackles.
“Well, that is new.” He chortles.
“It is the truth. I knew you would be trouble with your sculpted looks. The moon favours you.” I mutter remembering the day I met him in that meeting. The way he sat on that chair, the way he commanded the room. I was spellbound.
“Of course she favours me, she gave you to me.” His eyes, always seem to be drawing me in. As if we were attached by a string and he keeps pulling and pulling until he can seize me giving me no space to flee from his grasps.
Deflecting the beckoning power of those greens whilst clearing my throat, I ask him another question. “What of my soul do you find enchanting to you?” Pulling the straps of my torn dress to cover my breasts from his ravishing eyes. This male can never get full of me.
“Your kindness. Your fierceness. Your strength. The kind of mother you are, the kind of Luna you are, the way you bring light into darkness. How you fight me to understand you, your opinions and your values, how you do not succumb to my power. Your soul is fiery and tough but shows its weakness only for my eyes. I find everything about you as a female enchanting.” He answers taking no breaks to think. It comes naturally to him, his truth stands in openness for me to witness.
“This is not something you would know when you have just met me.” I hide my smile peering down at my lap, my cheeks set aflame by his words. Let me breathe, Deimos.
“Yes, but I wanted you to know this. No, I needed you to know this. And of what of my soul?”
A low gasp escapes my mouth as I meet his electric greens. I swallow harshly as he crawls closer to me our knees touch whilst the heat of his shaky breath warms my flesh. I see him now. With clarity. Yes, it should scare me. But I feel protected, utmost tranquillity.
“Tell me, my female.” He whispers nudging his nose onto my cheek feeding on my scent. Lips meet my mark, soft nips with his teeth. I breathe through my mouth, to distract myself from his intoxicating smell.
“Your soul is beautiful. I find you irresistible. I cannot fight you. I cannot escape your bounds. I burn for you. ” My truth pours into his ears as I place my trembling palm over his rapidly beating heart. He breathes me in, a ragged shaky breath of weakness.
Silence envelopes us as we drown in each other’s souls. Something between us sparks to life, his energy shifts and changes into a transparent one. He sees the memories I cherish with him and I see his. No words are spoken as we give in to the consuming piercing aura of our mate bond. Our marks hiss and burn to the intensity of our souls making love.
I gasp eyes widening as I look up at him, tears are swift to come forth welling within my eyes whilst I clamp my palm around my mouth. The flooding emotions, the overall jolting feeling of it is indescribable. What is this? Something is blooming within me at a galvanizing rapidness. I feel as though I were drowning in warm waters unable to breathe, unable to rest but I wasn’t alone. I feel the presence of another.
He is drowning with me, right by my side.
I shiver my palms pushing at his chest so I could meet his eyes. I am consumed by the feeling, it devours me from within. As if rays of light are tearing out from deep within my chest.
He holds me in place his hands holding onto me tightly. “Stay.”
“D-Deimos. My chest. Something is happening.” I mumble into his neck. Large palms slide down my back soothing me, comforting me as if I were a pup.
“Our souls have finally become one.” He declares placing his forehead upon mine. Glorious greens sink deep into my questioning eyes. He cradles me in his warmth one that sticks to my flesh. I was wrong, our souls did not meet the first time he made love to me for our souls did not seek the physical mating but the mating of hearts.
“Oh, Deimos.” I whimper calling out his name as he wipes my uncontrollable tears that stream down my cheeks with his thumbs a calm look he possesses in his eyes as if his wishes have been finally fulfilled. He had yearned for this.
“It has irrevocably happened. This gives me the strength I need. I will not let our past, my mistakes to hinder the life we could have together with our male. I shall grow and change with you. I shall be the male worthy to have you. I shall be a virtuous mate, a righteous father, a leader you can be proud of.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, my female.” Eyes widening, my heart unhesitantly opens itself up wide for him. Nothing to protect it anymore, only vulnerability remains for him to do whatsoever he pleases. His words catch me by surprise. Three words that strike down my walls with a fierce intensity. There shall be no more walls to build. The words I longed to hear for the past years, the words he once said would never leave his lips. The words my soul yearned with every breath I took.
“You love me?”
“More than anything else. My heart beats only for you, my soul breathes just to be with you. For because of you I came alive. For because of you I wished to live. For because of you I found the true meaning of love. You saved me.” He whispers whilst cradling my face gently in his warm palms.
“Deimos.”
“You need not say anything. You need not love me back. Just allow me one thing. Let me love you.” The sound of unyielding waves kissing the seashore takes over my senses, my barriers fall and shatter into pieces. My soul is his.