I look up at him eager to know further for I truly have no idea. “Really?”
“Yes. Alpha Ares was a good male, a good father too but he was strict with his sons. He began to train them from a very young age. Deimos was quite playful as a pup unlike his serious brother so Deimos got more attention from his father and it wasn’t the good sort. He needed to become a true leader.” Cronus explains.
“I didn’t know that. He barely spoke about his past.” I sigh.
“I don’t think he likes to for not all memories are good ones. It was drilled into him, Luna. For every mistake, he would get a punishment. He had to be perfect to be accepted as the next heir of this pack. Somethings cannot be broken out of, somethings he has no choice as an Alpha. You must understand this.”
“I do understand.” I glare up at him.
“Do you? Truly?” He finally meets my eyes. It’s as if he does not believe my words of truth. I do understand but at the same time I… I don’t.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” I mutter swiftly changing the topic wishing to discuss what I truly want to know.
He looks at me silently for a few seconds perhaps thinking whether to let go of this conversation or not. “Go ahead.” He gives me a curt nod of acceptance.
“About that night when you confessed your feelings to me.” I am quick to strike him. His actions stop and he looks taken back. Surprised how I came for him suddenly. He wasn’t expecting it. Then he frowns as if thinking why this sword was drawn now.
“That… that was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened, I was wrong.”
“What?” I ask. I need him to explain further than to admit his fault.
“I had never formed the close bond I have with you with any other female other than Theia. You caught me off guard. Our friendship caught me off guard. You eased my loneliness and in return, I eased yours. But my feelings weren’t true, I confused myself. And I must thank you for rejecting my advances for if I had found my female she would have suffered. I don’t think I can handle that. Deimos would have suffered and our bond shattered. We all would have descended into hell. Rather a pit of burning flames. But you saved us all. You are a good female, Lumina.” His words sink into me and I take time to digest it.
“How do you know we would have suffered?” I lick my lips uneasily, the truth pouring into the light.
“Because I see your misery, Lumina. Only the actions of a mate can give you such sorrow.”
His words. They sting deep in my heart. The emotions I kept hidden wishes to pour out to him. I want to complain to him, I want to act spoilt with him. I want to break down the shield I have on so he can see the cracks upon my heart and the disaster Deimos’s choice has created.
Lowering my head palms clutching my skirt I allow a soft sob to leave my lips. My hair acts as a curtain covering my insecurities from his eyes. Sinking my teeth into my lower quivering lip, I wheeze out a gut-wrenching wail.
His palms immediately reach forward cupping my face gently. His eyes sadden whilst he regards me, thumbs wiping my stranded tears below my eyes softly. “Hush now there is no need to cry. Do you trust me, Lumina?”
My eyes shut I show him the pain of my soul. I show him my inner conflict I endure with each birth of a day. “Look at me. Look at me, Lumina.” His voice is soft as feather tingling my skin. It encourages me to be strong.
I open my blurry eyes to regard him. “Do you?” He inquires.
“Y-Yes.” I reply with no hesitation. I do with everything within me.
“Then trust that all shall be well. Trust that this can be healed with time. I know Deimos he will stop at nothing to become yours again for Kal and you are his universe.”
“You don’t understand, what he did… I- Oh goddess what he did Cronus!” I sob harder shaking my head in disapproval of his words. I cannot forgive him, never.
“Hush. It will be all right. Come here.” He pulls me into his chest my sobs blocked by his now drenched shirt. His palm gently pats my back whilst he sways us side to side. Comfort is what he provides me, something I truly wanted.
We stay like that for a while with me indulging in his warm comforting presence and him making sure my pain has eased a little. He truly was my present from the moon for he had the power to cure my misery with just a few words and touches.
A sudden bang on the door has both of us flinch and startle. I frown quickly wiping away my tears with the heels of my palms. Getting up swiftly the chair screeching backwards I make my way to the door.
Pulling it open has me find a pacing Deimos his hands clasped behind his back. He looks tired and dishevelled rather shabby.
“What is it?” Is he here to see Kal? Or perhaps confront me of being alone with Cronus in the house? Maybe it is to confront me about my thoughts of the warrior?
“I am not here to confront you about anything goddamnit!” He spits and I frown further. What is wrong with him? Why has he become so stressed suddenly? Did something happen?
“Cronus is a male you keep close to your heart and I wouldn’t stop your friendship.” He says.
“Then what is it?” I ask watching him as he paces back and forth. I shut the main door behind me for I do not want Cronus to witness our conflicts.
“I thought about it over and over again during the past nights, the words you said that made me want to leap off a bridge. It drove me crazy. Learn to, you said. To live without you, to survive without you.”
“Yes.” I reaffirm the words I spoke to him.
“I thought about whether to say this to you or not.” He mutters. He is agitated, he is unwell. This sparks concern in me. My words have caused his mental sickness.
“Deimos?” I call out his name taking a step closer to him. Something within me demands to console him, to hold the pieces of him falling apart.
“But I am no weak male who cannot face his female. I will speak the truth!” He roars his emotions that overflow from within him.
“Deimos, calm down.” I take another step forward my palm held up facing him as a sign for him to rest his mind. We can talk when he is undisturbed.
“How do you expect me to do so? How do you expect me to live without you when-” He grits his teeth soul bare to me as he clenches his jaw shut. He is thinking again, whether or not to confess his truth.
“Deimos. I… I-” I get closer to him unknowingly. What am I even trying to say?
“When you are the air I breathe.” He finishes.