The clouds have gathered hiding the brightness of the sun behind their backs. The sky mourns, rain waiting to be let free. The harsh wind rattles the windows pushing the trees to dance to its song. It isn’t a day that encourages me to birth rather run and hide.
My eyes heavy with sleep unable to open wide I shift in the darkness moaning with uncomfortableness and pain. My belly big enough for my pup to rip through my flesh. Palm out tapping the mattress sliding back and forth over the softness searching for my male only to be met with cold sheets.
Frowning I peep at the clock. Early morning? Where has he gone so early? With a heavy sigh willing myself that I can do this I prepare myself for my morning rituals. Breathing has become quite harder for me. A feeling that something is lodged between the bones of my ribcage unable to accommodate my beating heart.
Deep slow painful contractions have been taking a hold of me for the past few days. It comes and goes as if I were in heat. During those days I tended to take warm showers or go for a walk on the open fields doing my best to breathe through my contractions.
Taking small steps keeping my pace slow my palm resting upon the white walls I head to the bathroom ready to empty my overflowing uterus. The amount of times I urinate in a day is quite surprising to say.
Deimos has been leaving our bed early these days. He is up before the sun rises. I do not understand what is so important that he cannot spend even a few hours in bed until I awaken. What has he been up to lately? He seems to be in his world often in drowning thoughts where I must call him several times to gain his attention.
Perhaps work has been consuming him too much making him unstable to even take a breather. I have been taking care of myself these mornings with my male being extremely busy, I tend to myself. I understand that the duties of being in a high position of authority beckon him and I am not weak to often seek someone’s aid.
With a heavy push gathering up all my energy I stand up flushing the toilet whilst taking deep breaths. It has been exactly nine months and the time has arrived for my birth. The healer confirmed it would be one of the following days.
At first, my heart pounded with excitement and happiness but now I am more fearful of what is to come. I had heard of the pain one possesses when you deliver, your vaginal hole tears open on both sides to accommodate the head of the baby and several other complications and mishaps could happen.
I talked about my fears to the older females of the pack but they were quick to ease them saying yes the pain is horrible but what comes after cannot be described or put into words. They did not go in-depth in terms of the entire process for I did not need them to. I had helped birth several pups of my females and I know how it works.
But being a new mother and experiencing it for yourself is quite different. However the fact that my male would be there holding my hand the entire time gives me all the strength and encouragement I need.
Stepping into the warm bath immerging my body into the depths of the tub has me sighing with happiness. The water wraps itself around me relaxing the sore muscles of my flesh. I am in paradise. Taking a soft sponge I scrub my body off the dirt that hangs to my skin.
Cupping some water into my hands I pour it gently over my swollen belly letting it slide down my flesh. My pup likes this for the first time I had done this I had been gifted with a slight kick. Leaning my head back calming myself I close my eyes the steam soothing my skin.
I stay still until the steam dies, bubbles burst and the water grows colder. I kind of like these quiet mornings, a day to myself for once I birth my pup I must return to my everyday duties as Luna and I would have no days as such. I guess I got used to being spoilt.
As I wrap the towel around my body, the bedroom door opens and a soft smile is quick to come to my face. “Lumina?” He questions. His voice is concerned, he finds it alarming when he walks in and I am nowhere to be found.
“In here.” I say my voice booming through the walls, a direct path to him. He walks towards the bathroom peeping in searching for me.
A comb in my hand I brush through the knots that seem to be never-ending. “Looks like my female is up early.” He whispers picking up my dirty clothes putting them into the laundry basket.
“I cannot sleep well these days. I have to be prepared for our pup can choose to say hello any moment.” I chuckle struggling to untangle my hair. With a sigh, he takes hold of the comb from the bounds of my hands.
“Don’t be so tough with your hair, Lumina. Be gentle.” He whispers his fingertips sliding down the strands of my hair killing the knots with the movement. He knows his way with all sorts of things, his mother taught him quite well.
“Where did you go today, again? I looked for you. I hate getting up without you by my side. You know this.” I whisper watching him through the mirror.
His jaw clenches the grip on the brush grows harder as if he is having a struggling war within himself. “Look at me.” I demand my tone gentle persuading him to pay heed to my wish.
His eyes slowly move from my hair to meet mine in the mirror. His emeralds seem to be dying with stress the light no longer available to shine. I know this look. Frowning I shift my body turning around swiftly to face him.
“You are carrying a burden. What is it?” I question peering into his soul searching for his truth.
“It is nothing, my female.” He whispers. A smile tries to spark on his face but it seems to me he has no energy to do so. His chest expands as he inhales almost as if it is painful for him to breathe.
“You can tell me, Deimos.” My palms reach up to cup his face gently.
“Perhaps when the time is right.” He utters. His emeralds peer down at me with a softness and I cannot help but take consideration of his words for he never hides anything from me.