“How was I supposed to know, Deimos? We never spoke of having pups it was a hard conversation for you.” He gazes at me chest heaving this conversation heading south both filled with anger neither one willing to compromise.
“Don’t you dare put this on me, Lumina! It is a shame. It is a shame not for you but for me as an Alpha as a mate if our pack knew what you had done. This goes against everything.” He says running his fingers harshly through his hair.
“This isn’t entirely my fault! I-” I begin as he cuts me off.
“All you had to do was tell me, goddammit. I would have eased your fears.” He yells pacing around the floor fists clenched by his sides.
“You don’t understand! You still don’t understand why I did it.” I holler both our wolves letting out small whimpers for us to hear. They don’t like this. My wolf wishes to comfort her mate and so does his beast.
“I don’t want to have this talk anymore, Lumina.” He utters with a silent snarl but I don’t pay heed to his words digging out the words buried deep.
“No! We will finish this talk. I was scared, I didn’t want anything to harm us.” I remark my truth.
“Then you didn’t believe in us, Lumina. Now enough. This argument is going nowhere.” He voices his frustration.
“Stop it. You were hinting your disinterest. You were hinting your true wishes.” I continue further pushing him so we can at least try to understand the other this way.
“Fine! We are both to blame! I didn’t tell you properly and you hid from me now I have had enough!” He bellows voice booming across the walls as his palms bang the desk harshly a glass cup falling and shattering into pieces upon the floor. I visibly flinch to his aggression.
Chest heaving. Jaw clenched. Fists shaking. Pin drop silence. We stand watching the other anger not subsiding rather increasing. My mind is consumed by fury and I am unable to control the words that fly out my mouth.
“I don’t want a mate who does not understand me.” I say staring deep into his eyes. He flinches to my words and his flesh trembles, my words showing its effects on him. It isn’t fair that I strike my arrow he needs to do it too and so he does.
“I don’t want a mate who lies and hides things from me.” He says gritting his teeth looking at me from beneath his lashes. An intake of breath from my side killing the silence. Lips quivering, tears welling I look away hugging myself.
A wolf opens the door and I run past him banging onto him pushing him away from my path. “Luna!” Ragon calls out to me and I keep running tears flowing down my cheeks freely. My path is blurry small hiccups leave my lips.
His words hurt and I knew mine did too. I couldn’t control my anger. Our pride consumes us from within and we cannot engage it, our control futile. I don’t blame him rather I blame me at this point but I wish he could understand where I was coming from.
He makes me weak. He makes me crush my pride and bare myself to him and sometimes I don’t know how to overtake our bond. Wishing for some comfort, I head toward Giovanni’s private residence.
“Is Gia in her room?” I ask the female sitting by the stove reading a book. As soon as she hears me she rises and bows with respect.
“Yes, Luna. She just finished her classes.” The female in charge of Gia replies. Gianna takes pup classes every day where she learns the basics of English and math. I hear she is good at math like her brother.
Climbing up the stairs opening her door, I find the pup sitting upon the plush carpet playing with her dolls. Her tiny hands try to hold onto the entire doll but it keeps falling unable to fit into her palms. A soft chuckle leaves my mouth.
She quickly looks up and her eyes sparkle when they find mine. “Hello, little one.” I whisper kneeling onto the floor arms open.
“Zia Lumina!” She squeals palms upon the mat pushing her body upward. She flies into my arms giggling. She is a very quiet female with others but with me she is different. She has taken a liking to me and often shows me her true nature as she does with Giovanni.
“How is Gia doing today?” I ask my thumb wiping the crayon ink pasted upon her plump cheek.
“Gia misses Gio.” She replies. This seems to be her reply often never ceasing. He is her whole world. When he isn’t here she sobs and weeps even if it is just a few hours.
“Gio is busy but I can play with you today.” I whisper smiling showing my teeth from her. Teeth for pups are scary and they do not like the sight of it. But Gianna is different she loves the sight. She smiles back showing her own growing teeth.
Crawling toward the mat I gather the papers scattered upon the floor and bring them closer to us. “How about we draw something?” I ask her gently and she nods excitedly.
As she begins creating objects and scribbles that only make sense to a toddler I choose to draw something as well. I have heard it can be quite therapeutic. Funny how I have never picked up a colored crayon before. It never crossed my mind.
Taking the black ink I sketch what my soul wishes to see. Something I think would be wonderful to possess. If I didn’t meet Deimos I would have drawn a mate but now I wish to depict something else. A family.
I am very happy that Deimos has accepted to have a pup together it brings me peace, he will be an amazing father. It is within his blood for I have seen this side to him and he cannot deny it.
But there are still somethings that need to grow within us. We might be ready for a family but after that? Am I thinking too much about it? Should I have just let things be and not taken the pill? So much confusion sparks within me. So much that I don’t wish to think anymore.
“What ah you dawing?” Gia questions. She is still learning to pronounce her r’s.
“A family.” I whisper with a smile. “You know me and you. We are the same. We both didn’t get to have parents.”
“Same?” She asks confused holding her hand out.
Placing her tiny palm upon my beating heart and then to her heart. “Same.” I say gently.
A soft knock interrupts us and I turn to look at the wolf. Ragon stands eyes flooding with concern. “Luna.” He bows.
I return his greeting with a small nod getting back to my piece. There is a deep silence between us as he strides forward and sits by our side. I can feel his eyes on me yet I ignore it and instead watch Gianna with her never-ending scribbles.
“You can speak your mind.” I say knowing he came to exchange words. I can feel him shying away yet I encourage to tell me.
“I heard. About what happened.” He says and I nod. My entire being is calm, I have no more snarls left for today.
“And?” I urge him to continue as he shifts into a comfortable position crossing his legs with a soft sigh. “Perhaps you would like to support him? Is it not the reason as to why you are here?”
“Not really. I just wanted to know if you are okay, Luna.” He says and I can feel his gentleness as he speaks. Now he has my attention.
Looking at my male’s beta, meeting his eyes I see his truth. He doesn’t lie, I know that. “Thank you, for your concern. I am good.” I whisper.
“I am glad.” He replies eyes upon my half-finished sketch. Yes, it looks like that of a juvenile but it is mine. It has my dream pasted onto it.