“W-Warm. You are warm. You are alive. You are here. I a-am not dreaming.” I talk to myself. I comfort myself.
He closes his eyes unable to bear the pain I show him through my eyes. “Tell me! Tell me I am not dreaming. Tell me this is real!” I scream clutching the collar of his shirt in my palms.
He grabs me in his arms, lips leaving kisses all over my face. My cheeks, nose, eyes, lips he heals them with his kisses as he whispers, “You are not dreaming, Lumina. I am real. I am here.”
Loud wails leave my mouth, with each wail stripping me of my energy. My body trembles and I fall onto the ground. Deimos grabs me and holds me tightly to his chest. “I am sorry. Forgive me.” He keeps whispering the words to me like a lullaby.
My fists bang his chest softly, tears and snot soak his shirt but he takes it all. I scream and scream as much as I can emptying my overfilled heart. “You l-left m-me.” I wail into his neck.
“Give them to me, Lumina. All the pain and suffering I caused you. Give them to me tonight, for I will take it all away.” He says clutching me to him tighter.
My every hit, my every sob, my every scream spoke to him. I didn’t have to speak words for my actions showed him how much agony my soul had to take. He saw it, felt it all, and held me in his arms like a scared pup for he was drowning in fear as well.
As time passes, I don’t calm down. My sobs grow louder, screams sharper. My fear of losing him again consumes me overtaking the instructions to be calm from my mind. “Lumina, please!” He says, tone pleading for he cannot bear to see me like this anymore.
“T-This is not real!” I sob my palm clutching onto his crumpled shirt. His hand softly caresses my hair trying his best to calm me down.
“I am real, Lumina. So please! Please stop crying.” He whispers.
“I c-can not feel you. Your soul, I cannot feel it.” I scream and wail again. If this were real I would be able to feel him deep inside me. I would be able to see his mind, his heart.
He quickly fists my hair from the back whilst pulling it down baring my neck to him. With one look at my eyes, he sinks his fangs into my mark once more. I choke on my tears as sobs try to leak from my open mouth. He tears down deep into the mark claiming me as his once again.
My sobs die down as soon as I feel him within me. He soothes me bringing light into my darkness and my clutch upon his shirt finally loosens as I close my eyes, stray tears streaming down my cheeks. All his emotions strike me together at once, taking me by surprise.
His mind shows me pictures of me placing flowers in the vase beside his bed. Of me sobbing clutching onto his hand, of me reading a book, of me leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead. These times he could hear me, feel me but couldn’t see me so these were the pictures his mind made up so he could acquire a glimpse of his female.
With every picture, every emotion, every memory he showed my soul absorbs it like a sponge and as my eyes remain closed I fall in his arms. He catches me swiftly. Knowing I will succumb to rest I allow myself one last look at my male.
He looks down at me seizing me tightly with a worried appearance. My eyes flutter close but I open them again so I could… smile. A soft smile paints my lips and he looks down with utter tenderness whilst his thumb wipes the tears under my eyes. “Rest now for when you wake up I will spend every day proving that this is not a dream.” He whispers.
I pay heed to him and finally close my eyes awaiting the peaceful sleep I haven’t had for a long time. I waited patiently for the nightmares to come take me, for me to submerge in misery. But it never came and I slept peacefully clutching onto the warmth I was surrounded by.
I had no dreams only a peaceful silence and I slept like a pup. I sometimes heard faint chatter of wolves but a sudden command of an Alpha would shut them up. I slept well a part of me knowing I was being protected. That I was being loved.
The soft thud of something falling to the ground awakens me. I get up swiftly looking around, sleep disappearing running like the wind. I look to my right to find it empty, my eyes widen. Why is it empty? I am pretty sure that… that he was here.
Goddess, please! It was real, my male breathes. Was it? My mind plays with me. I gasp as tears threaten to fall once more. Since when have I become so weak? I quickly place my feet down and walk with trembling legs to search for him. To find at least some proof of him.
My eyes scan the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. I walk in circles checking each place twice. He isn’t here! He… he was supposed to be here! He promised. Tears stream down my cheeks as I slide my hair back frustrated. How much longer must I keep doing this? How much longer must I keep yearning?
My quivering legs take me to the back porch but with my blurry vision, I stumble and fall to the ground landing hard. The pain hits me and I cry harder. My nails scrape against the wooden floor. I know I am not emotionally well and that I need to go away for a while but I… I need to be near him.
“Lumina!” The worried voice of my male calls out to me and I flinch startled, finally looking up at him.
Ragon and Elriam are up on their feet watching me surprised. Deimos walks to me slowly and I sob further. I see him. I can see him.
“Oh, Goddess! Alpha.” Elriam whispers her palm placed over her mouth watching her Alpha bawling upon the ground.
As Deimos comes stands in front of me I look up at him. He tilts his head with sad eyes whilst bending down he places his palms under my armpits and carries me helping my feet to clamp around his waist. I hiccup and press my nose into his neck inhaling his scent. He is real. He is here.
“We shall discuss this after a few days. As you can see my female is unstable. She needs me. Ragon whatever it is handle it as I would.” Deimos says walking inside without looking back.
Wrapping my hands around his neck I find that he struggles to walk. My strong male has grown weak over these months and it hurts me deeply. I snuggle deeper into him as he pats my back softly and I close my eyes, my hiccups dying. Walking into our room he softly places me on the bed.
I begin to whimper and whine loudly through my nose as he takes a step back.