I scan the list whilst itching the side of my neck. This has been happening to me constantly, my neck keeps itching. “Alpha!” Elriam’s loud voice startles me as I turn to look at her.
“What is it?” I question her frowning as she walks closer to me.
Grabbing my jaw in her palm she moves my face to the side baring my neck to her. “Your mark.” Is all she says and my eyes widen.
Slapping my palm over my mark to feel it I slide my fingers across the itching flesh. It doesn’t hurt but it feels rough and the skin seems to be peeling. “How did I not notice this?” I ask myself in a whisper.
Elriam quickly grabs my wrist and guides me to the pack hospital. Her feet walk fast just as the thoughts running through my mind.
As she guides me into one of the empty rooms, the healer stands alone reading through some documents. As soon as she catches a whiff of my scent she places the papers on her desk and bows deeply.
“Check her mark.” Is all Elriam says forcing me to sit on one of the beds.
The healer quickly walks towards me, her eyes scanning every inch of my mark as her fingers feel up the peeling flesh. Her eyes widen in understanding of what is happening.
“Your mark is rotting.” She says getting straight to the point. I look away from her. Rotting? My mark is rotting? But why? “Do you feel discomfort or pain when I touch it?” She questions.
“No. It only itches.” I say and she nods.
“How long has it been itching?” She asks.
“For about a month now.” I reply as she heads towards the cabinet of medicines picking up some tubes in her hand.
“The pain will arrive, soon. Anytime now. I will give you something to help you pass out. You will not be able to bear it so as soon as it begins to burn inject this into your blood and you will sleep through the pain.” She advises handing me the injection.
“Is this common? Why is her mark rotting?” Elriam questions, her face drawn down in a frown confused.
“This is common when…” The healer begins her answer but pauses when her eyes find mine.
Clenching my jaw whilst my palms clutch the sheet I look down at the floor. “Say it.” I order preparing myself for her answer that I feel I might already know.
“When their mate is dying.” The healer finishes and I shut my eyes close in response to her words.
Silence envelopes the room as one cannot hear the sound of my heart wailing. I hold back my tears and stand up swiftly. I give a short nod as a thank you to the healer and stride out.
“I will inject this into you when it is time, Alpha.” Elriam whispers taking the tubes from my open palm. My eyes find the blue sky painted with the softest of clouds.
“Elriam clear my schedule for the afternoon. I need some time to myself.” I say. I need time to think.
“Of course, Alpha.” She says grabbing the small book from her breast pocket and scribbling upon it.
I feel her eyes on me as I walk towards the clearing that leads to the hills we had our picnic the evening we were attacked. I haven’t come back here since.
Laying my body upon the grass under the shade of the tree Deimos and I sat by I close my eyes listening to the sounds of the birds chirping and the soft humid breeze that makes the leaves dance.
What happened a few minutes ago was the confirmation I didn’t wish to receive. I had been praying that this wouldn’t happen, that those words wouldn’t be spoken. Perhaps this had been my destiny all this while. To break a little each day, to fix the cracks myself only to break again.
I shift my body to my side, head resting on my open palm as I look at the spot Deimos and I sat at. It only seems like yesterday when I felt that warmth of happiness bursting at the depths of my soul. Now it feels void, I shiver from how cold I feel within.
I raise my palm onto the sky and gaze at its beauty through the space between my fingers.
“How will I live without you?”
“Will my heart beat again if you leave?”
“Must I follow you too? Will you take me with you?”
I ask these questions slowly speaking to the wind. At these times I wonder if the Goddess even hears me. If she sees my pain, my suffering, and if she can grant me a miracle. I shift into a kneeling position and look up at the sky.
“Allow him to live!” I say my voice merely a whisper. “Allow my male to live! I will do anything! Or take me instead, just let my male live. That’s all I ask.” I scream my eyes blurring with tears. “Please!” I screech banging my forehead on the ground, my fists clenching onto the mud. I pour my pain sobbing loudly, begging the Goddess for his life.
“All my life I have asked nothing from you. I went through every struggle, every hit, every cut on my own. I never begged you like this. You can take anything from me, just… not him. Let me at least have him.” I bawl biting my lip so hard that blood seeps into my mouth.
I sit there crying and wailing my worries for a long time until the sun dies and the sky is painted red and orange. With shaky legs, I stand up, and with one last look at that tree, I head back to continue my duty as Alpha.
My eyes find Elriam in a heated conversation with Ragon, palms pushing his chest backward and he stumbles trying to regain his balance. He holds her wrist making her look at him. She keeps shaking her head as he tries to calm her down trying to make her listen to his words.
Frowning I head towards them. “What’s wrong?” I question softly as Elriam flinches and looks at me.
“Nothing, Luna. Elriam just has different views about a certain matter.” Ragon whispers giving her a side-eye as if indirectly telling her to keep quiet. Elriam doesn’t meet my eyes and I immediately know they are hiding something from me.
Not wishing to swim further into this issue I change the topic. For whatever they are hiding there must be a reason and I shall respect that. “Elriam there’s still something left for me to do I suppose?” I ask and she nods quickly.
“The inventory check. It was the last for the day.” She whispers her eyes looking back and forth between Ragon and me.
“Look at me, Elriam.” I say as she startles, stands up straighter, and finally meets my eyes head-on. “I trust you.” Is all I say and she swallows and nods. I know she’s hiding something but I trust that there must be an explainable reason.
I walk into the storage warehouse carrying along with the checklist Elriam made for me. There are already wolves waiting for my arrival. The dimly lit warehouse with nothing but candles and an eerie silence seems to scare me. Is this perhaps what Deimos feels right now? Dark and silent?
“I apologize for keeping you waiting. I had something to deal with.” I speak to the three males present, my eyes wandering around the boxes with different name tags.
“It’s all right, Luna Lumina.” They say in unison.