I squeezed my eyes shut.
Goddess. It hurt. Even thinking about it hurt. So fucking much. Her betrayal hurt me more than anything else ever has. She was the one person I bared myself to. I bared my soul to her. She was my whole damned world. I would’ve done anything for her. I fucking gave my life for her. I let her in. I trusted her. I gave her my heart. And along with it, I also gave her the power to crush my heart.
I had practically laid my heart at the bottom of her feet. And what did she do?
Took one look at it with her ice cold eyes and stomped all over it.
I rubbed my chest. Why did my heart still hurt?
It was all because of her.
Avalyn.
The best thing of my life and the worst thing of life. All wrapped up in one.
I pulled up my pants.
She turned her head and looked at me in question. “Aren’t you going to fuck me, Master?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fuck you Avalyn.” My voice shook with emotions. I decided to tell her the truth. “You-you are filthy to me now.” She flinched. “Not because of your past.” I shook my head. “It wasn’t your fault. I would never hang it over your head like that. I don’t care how many males took advantage of you. I don’t care if the person was related to me.” My throat closed as I was about to speak of what bothered to me. “It’s because he fucked you. With your consent. You chose to let him touch you. Especially after you told me that you loved me, that you chose me.”
She let out a heart wrenching sob.
I continued softly. “You thought I was dead and you decided to be with your faye mate, I would have been fine. But I came back, Ava.” My vision blurred with tears. “And you chose him. You gave me hope every time you let me come near you. Yet, you chose him, crushing my heart yet again. You did it every single day. I thought you were just confused. I made excuses for you. But you just know how to twist the dagger for fun, Love.”
She was crying uncontrollably now.
“You told me you loved me. You promised me a future that night. You called me to your room. If you chose him, you could have told me. But you showed it to me by making me watch him fuck you instead.”
She scrambled off the desk and ran to me. She grabbed my arms tightly and looked up at me, her eyes wild. “I -I didn’t. I didn’t call you!”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. You were still with him.”
I grabbed her hands on my arm and gently took it off me. “I knew you had changed. You had turned into the Ice Queen, as people said. But I never thought you could be so cruel.” I shook my head and turned around to walk out.
“Nikolai!” She gasped. “Please! I -I don’t know what happened that night. I chose you! I was going to break up with him!”
She’s still just as cruel.
“Don’t lie to me.” I hissed. “Not after I’ve just been honest to you.”
“I’m not lying!” She followed me and caught my hand in between hers. “Please! Nikolai! I’m sorry.” She cried. “Please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“We will never work.” I hardened my heart again and pulled my hand out of her hold. “You aren’t pure to me anymore. I can’t stand to even think about fucking you.”
She sobbed. “I -I’ll do anything! Anything!” She said desperately. “Let me be your slave. I -I promise I’ll be a good girl. I do everything you say. I -I’ll take care of all your needs. Maybe-no, I promise you’ll be able to fuck me once you see I’m a good girl. You won’t have to go through the inconvenience of finding another slave. I’ll be good. I promise. Just please- let me be your slave. Your only slave.”
Does she even realise what she is saying out of desperation? Does she realise that she can free us both if she just accept my rejection?
She’s asking me for the life I helped her escape. Does she realise that?
“Fine.” I know how I’ll make her realise it. She needs time to think. I’m going to give her that.
“Kneel.” I ordered and she swiftly got into the perfect kneeling position.
“Now I’m going to go out, I’m not sure when I’ll return.” I told her. “But I want you to stay in this position, okay?”
“Yes, Master.” She whispered.
“The moment you change your position, I’ll know. And you will be released from your slave duties. You know what that means, right, slave?”
“Yes, Master.” She replied again.
“Good girl.” I said and then walked out and closed the office door behind me. I placed my hand on the red and golden circle and locked it. Now, like the lock that I make on the doors of our bedroom, only Avalyn and I will be able to open it.
No one else can go in or come out. I didn’t want anyone to help her. I didn’t want anyone to see her like that either, especially not our kids.
Only Avalyn can unlock the door.
And I’m not going in there. She will come out on her own. She will not be able to stay in that position for more than a couple of hours, half a day at the most, she’ll get tired. She will need to go to the washroom or eat or have water and she will feel the need to move even more.
She’ll come out.
And then it’ll be done. We’ll be done.
I’ll make her accept my rejection. And then, we both will be free. Forever.