I had started slipped in anonymous notes in her fresh laundry that a slave would be taking to her bedroom, or I’d just simply slip in a lone flower or chocolate-which I was sure she would love literally anywhere I thought she’d find it. In the emails I sent her, I signed it with ‘Love, Nik’. It seemed stupid but I wanted her to know that I still love her. Our morning routine continued but slowly, my patience was wearing thin. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more from her.
My wolf felt sick without her. He longed for his mate. He had been silently stewing for a while. And the energy that kept building up in my body seemed to have reduced. Valerie needed to siphon it out of me at least twice a day and it overwhelmed her every time.
I had been in an unpleasant mood that reflected atmosphere as well. The sun had shined brightly over our island in weeks. It only did when I was in a somewhat good mood, which only happened in Viktoria’s presence.
It had caused a drastic drop in temperatures as well. And it had affected a lot of people living in Imporia -since it was a city on the top of the tallest mountain of our dimension. Vampires were cold blooded so they didn’t mind it as much, the werewolves were warm blooded and while their body kept them warm, it took up too much of their energy. And most of the witches had to move to either Alvar or some other place.
I hated that I was causing this but I couldn’t help it. I had never felt so helpless and so desperate before.
I didn’t just hate it. I fucking hate it.
Lightening flashed in the sky and then the clouds thundered.
“Yeah, I fuckin’ know!” I raised my glass of whiskey towards the sky. “Cheers to fucking you too!”
I hated that the sky matched my mood. I couldn’t even be… whatever I was feeling without the whole world knowing it.
“Looks like the Gods are angry.” I heard an unfamiliar female voice say.
“Not God this time. Just me.” I took a swig.
“You know that anger is a positive emotion?” I was in no mood for company or for a chat but that statement was absurd. “And I love it when it’s dark and when it’s thundering and lightning.”
I turned around to fave the woman. Human. In a wheelchair. Blonde, blue eyes, scars and a missing foot.
That’s when I realised that she was Andrei’s sister. The same one he had told me he brought home more than a year ago. She had been in a bad accident and Andrei was helping her get better. I knew there was a lot more to the story than he led on but I assumed he would tell me when he wanted. I hadn’t met the girl until now. I had been busy and wrapped up in my own shit.
“Your anger is a part of you that knows your mistreatment is unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that loves you.”
Her words hit home.
And she smiled, like she knew it.
“I’m Alyanna. Andrei’s half-sister.”
This was the same girl Dimitri had taken a special liking to, much to Andrei’s displeasure.
“Nikolai. Andrei’s sister. We don’t half-ass things here.” She was his sister meant she was our sister.
For some reason, that made her smile slightly.
“Whom are you angry at?” I asked. I could feel multiple emotions clinging to her. Hatred. Grief. Pity. Love. Agony. Anger.
“The world. Myself. But the world mostly. Same are you.”
“Oh no. I’m angry at someone I could easily kill and not lose a wink of sleep over.” Killing him would take away ninety nine percent of my problems.
“Are you really?”
“No. I’m angry that I can’t do that. Even if I want to.” Ava would hate me more than she already does.
“So what can you do?”
“A lot of things that don’t work. Or don’t truly matter.” Everything I had been doing up until now to win Avalyn back, to even gain a shred of attention she could give me, wasn’t working.
“Then do something else.” She shrugged.
Do something else.
I had been so fixated on doing and redoing everything on the list I had created to win Avalyn back that I didn’t even consider anything apart from it. We had formed a routine and I needed to do something totally different. It needed to be something Avalyn wouldn’t expect.
And then suddenly I knew what I needed to do. I needed to rewrite our history.
“Thanks. I’m gonna make sure you walk. And that you’re not angry at the world anymore. It’s a promise.” This girl has been more useful than anyone else has been since I came back.