Avalyn
The silver haired, blue eyed lady appeared in front of me.
It had been a while.
“Hello,” I smiled at her. I missed her and the peace her presence brought me. I needed that right now.
“Hello, Avalyn.” She smiled and then captured me in a hug. “Today is a big day. But I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Huh?” My head felt fuzzy from being so close to her. Never had I felt so… unbothered and stress free in my whole life.
This kind of peace didn’t exist in the land of the living.
“Brighten the darkness, Avalyn.”
“Save Nikolai.”
“Lead them all to victory.”
“The time is coming.”
And just like that, she disappeared, leaving me confused as always.
I felt a finger trail slowly across my temple and then the side of my face.
I knew who it was, I didn’t even have to open my eyes. The finger then curled a lock around itself before pushing it out of my face. And then it was back on my face, this time trailing down from the middle of my forehead to the bridge of my nose, as if it was tracing the lines, committing my face to its memory. It lowered to my lips, tracing their shape, familiarising with them again. After spending a good minute with then, the finger moved down to my chin before cupping it.
“Good morning, Love.” Nikolai whispered.
He knew I was awake. Of course he did.
I opened my eyes and found him crouching by the bedside, his arm resting on the edge of the bed, his head resting on it and his other hand still caressing the side of my face.
He smiled. A sad one. The smile told me everything he hadn’t yet said himself.
I’m sorry. I missed you. I love you. I missed you a lot. I regret everything I did. Please forgive me. I’m back now. I love you a lot.
My eyes filled with tears and a trembling smile formed on my lips. “You’re here.” My voice cracked as I barely managed to speak.
His smile fell as he caught a stray tear. “I am.”
His dark grey eyes were filled with hurt when he stared into mine. “Do you hate me?”
My heart jumped at his question. If he asked that, it must’ve been on his mind for a while… “No.”
He tilted his head, and despite being away and out of touch for so long, I was still so in tune with him. I knew he was doubting my reply. “I didn’t hate you. I was just very mad at you…” I said softly. “But mostly, I was disappointed in you…”
His eyes lowered, no longer being able to look me in the eye, “I’m sorry.” For trying to kill our own children was silent.
“Are you?” My heart ached as I questioned him.
His jaw clenched. “I’d never knowingly hurt you. At least not again.”
I knew it was a momentary loss of control that nearly cost us everything we have left. It was like a veil of darkness had taken over him for a while. But I knew he regretted it the moment it was over. I just didn’t understand why he didn’t come back sooner. “That’s not what I meant. You chose your hatred for Adrik over your love for me,” I accused. That’s what bothered me the most right now. “You knew I don’t have a lot of time left… you chose to stay away to hunt your father, knowing you have a lifetime left to do that…”
He gulped, looking away again. “I’m sorry.”
My throat closed up. He couldn’t even look me in the eye while he apologised. And he didn’t even bother to give me an explanation or even make up an excuse. “It’s not okay. It is not okay at all.”
“I know,” he pressed his lips together. He was hiding something from me. “But what matters is that I’m here now, telling you I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes to reign in my tears. I took in a deep breath before releasing it. Did he just expect me to forget all that I went through in the last month? I woke up every morning feeling like I had lost a piece of myself. I had grown so weak… so… lost… I felt like I was just a shell of the person I used to be. And that was while I was struggling to make peace with the fact that I could hardly do anything by myself, having to ask for help at every turn, having to deal with the thought that I will never see my children grow up, hell, I might not even be able to see them at all… the tears I had worked hard to suppress resurfaced.
I won’t get to hear them speak their first work, I won’t get to see them take their first step, I’ll miss their first day of school, or the day they meet their mates, or know who they are as people… I’ll never get to experience their love… they’ll never know how much their mother loves them….
“Ava.” Nikolai caught my hands and placed a soft, passionate kiss on the back of it.
I looked deep into his dark grey eyes that matched the sky, and saw all the love they held for me. I’ll not be able to see him, to hold him, to kiss him for Goddess knows for how long.
I scooted back in the bed and knowing what I meant, he slid in beside me. I moved closer to him and pressed my lips against his. A shiver ran down my spine and my toes curled in pleasure. I missed this. I missed him.
He raised his hand to cup my cheek and angle my head so that he could kiss me deeply. The kiss was soft and passionate before urgency kicked in and it turned fervent. His fingers griped my hair tightly before he turned my head in the other direction so he could kiss me more deeply. The gentle display of dominance warmed my belly.
I wanted him. Right now.
He trailed wet, open mouthed kisses down the side of my neck before he sucked on my mark. A moan escaped my mouth and I pressed my legs together as my core began tingling with need.
Nik’s nostrils flared as the smell of my wetness registered. His hand instinctively slid between my thighs, crept under my panties and found my wet core.
I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning loudly.
“Don’t bite that fucking lip,” Nik groaned as he used his thumb to release my bottom lip from between my teeth before pushing his thumb in my mouth.
I sucked on it like I would his dick. His mouth dropped open and he watched my mouth with unconcealed lust. His fingers expertly massaged my clit before sliding further down and pushing two fingers inside me.
I gasped at the fullness I hadn’t felt in a while.
And then he began fucking me with his fingers. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and my moans increased. I thrust my hips rhythmically to his movements. He took his thumb out of my mouth and pressed his lips to mine again, swallowing my moans.
“Fucking hell.” He mumbled against my lips before sliding his tongue in my mouth.
His fingers inside me were unrelenting as they moved inside me, scissoring and pumping in and out as they brought me right to the edge and stopped.
I groaned in complaint in his mouth and he had the audacity to smirk. I opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were glowing with amusement.
I caught his lip between my teeth and bit down hard enough to make him hiss.