I wouldn’t have woken up if I hadn’t smelled the smell of food. Rad isn’t here.
We had sex several times last night. I can’t count, and I can’t imagine those positions we made!
I shouldn’t worry because I’m taking pills. Maybe if I don’t use contraceptives, I might get pregnant. We’re still too young now, but why not if at the right time?
I only wore his oversized shirt and panty; I didn’t have a bra. I just left my long hair without a comb. I brushed my teeth before going down.
I saw him in the kitchen when he had finished cooking.
“Good morning,” I greeted and hugged him from his back.
He quickly and effortlessly turned me forward and made me sit at the table.
I giggled when he kissed my neck and sniffed it. His breath barely slammed into my neck.
“Good morning, baby.” He said huskily while steadily kissing my neck. I hope we are like this every day. I don’t want to go back to Manila.
“I’m sorry, you always cook; I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to cook. I’ll take care of that. Besides, last night I was already full of you.”
I remembered him eating my p*ssy! He bit and licked it for almost an hour! He’s crazy! He is!
My cheeks almost turned red at what he said, and I hit him.
“You’re an animal! Ga–” I immediately covered my mouth so I could not continue saying anything. I remembered what Rad told me last night.
One curse, one rough sex.
“You curse again. You didn’t bring that. You’ll pay for it later. Eat first.”
He made me sit down properly and put rice and a dish on my plate. He even seasoned me with milk. I feel like I’m used to Rad being too thoughtful with me.
I can’t help but think that maybe I’m not the only one Rad has taken here.
We finished eating, and he washed the plates.
“Rad..” I gently called him. His two hands wrapped around my body. We were leaning on the sofa, and my head was on his chest as we watched a movie on the flat-screen tv.
“Hmmm?” He replied.
“How many women have you brought here?” Out of the blue, I asked. I really can’t stand it. I am insecure!
“Are you thinking that?” I can’t believe he said that.
“Just answer me!” I frowned and crossed my arms.
“I’m not bringing a woman here, Frixxie, and stop asking me that.” He said with finality.
“Okay.”
He immediately kissed my hair and tightened his hug.
A few minutes later, someone called him. So he immediately picked it up and answered. I immediately remembered my cellphone. How is it? Maybe Rad hasn’t thrown that away yet?
I need to see that because maybe Papa has a call or text there.
He is on the veranda; the glass is a wall so I can see him from here. His forehead creased while talking on his phone as if he was disgusted.
Who is he talking to? I was suddenly nervous. I don’t know why.
I just focused on watching, and after a while, he sat beside me. He hugged me tightly and kissed me hard on my lips.
“Rad, what’s wrong?” I asked him worriedly.
He sighed deeply and buried my face in his chest. He heaved a deep sigh as if he was having a hard time.
“We’ll go back to Manila tomorrow,” he said emphatically, as if he didn’t like it.
I felt sad all of a sudden.
“Okay.” I smiled, but the joy did not reach my eyes.
Now my sweet dream will end here. Tomorrow everyone will return to normal. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it.
***
I wore black off-shoulder and high waist ragged skinny jeans. I tied my hair in a messy bun-four days since Rad and I got back here in Manila, and those days for me like hell.
He texted me last time that his family needed to go somewhere in Tagaytay. I don’t know why it took ‘four days.
“Hello! Earth to Frixxie!” Loisa told me to sit next to me on the bench with Cassy. They were carrying frappes.
It’s sad when he’s gone. Worst, even though I’m sorry, I have nothing to say, even to my friends.
“You’re an idiot again,” Cassy commented to me.
“It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just feeling bad.”
They looked at each other. “Are you sure, Frix? You’re losing weight so much.” Loisa even held my arm as if measuring if I had lost weight.
“You still look stressed, but still a Goddess! Gosh! How can you do that at the same time?” She added.
Cassy laughed. “Oh no! Loisa Ina! Get a makeover if you want to look like baby Frixxie! ”
Loisa just stared at Cassy. I smiled and just sipped my frappe. We’re here now ‘in a Park near HMU. We picked up a chart earlier at school and decided to walk there.
It’s 5:00 pm, but I don’t feel like going home. I’ll just be unfortunate there because’ I’m alone.
“Rad’s Hot here.” Loisa sighed as she pressed her cell phone.
“May I see!” said Cassy.
Maybe Rad uploaded their pictures on Instagram. Shit. How I miss him so much.
“Damn, maybe that’s his girlfriend! They’re sweet!”
Almost I crumpled my grip on the frappe because of what ‘Cassy said.
Hug? My chest suddenly ached as if I couldn’t breathe in pain. My tears rolled down my cheeks, so I looked up.
There is an answer to my question if he is the same as other women, just like he does to me constantly.
“Look at this, Frix; she is probably Rad’s girlfriend,” Loisa told me.
“I’m not interested in that,” I answered coldly.
I picked up my cell phone and texted Rad.
I don’t know what he’s going to say. I don’t care if I look like a fool assuming we are in a relationship.
I felt too much pain, too much pain to see him touched and hugged by others as well.
To Rad: I saw your pictures. You look happy in her arms. Can we stop what kind of label we have now? Because I don’t want this… don’t ever come near me again.
I was feeling so sick right now that I couldn’t stop sobbing.
“Fuck! Why are you crying, Frix? Is something wrong with you? Who fought you? I’ll beat him up!” ‘Cassy said to me.
They are both confused.
“No, I just missed my dad.” Which is true. When Rad returned my cell phone before we went home, Papa texted and often miscalled me.
I felt like I was suddenly lonely. I seem to be looking for my Dad’s presence.
“Are you sure? Maybe I can figure out how.” Cassy said to me.
“I want us to bar later,” I said, turning off my phone.
The two looked at each other as if talking with their eyes.
Loisa sighed. “Okay, but Frix, if you have a problem. Just tell us. But we’re also sad because you are our friend. Where is the Frixxie who was talkative then? ”
Cassy caressed my back. Somehow I’m still lucky to have friends.
They hugged me both.
“That’s enough, Frix! Let’s go to the bar later. I’ll treat you, so don’t cry anymore. What else do you want? I’ll give it to you!” Cassy greeted me, so I laughed a little.
“Let’s get drunk tonight! The sky is the limit!” I said.
“Right! Smile now! You just cried! Why are you still so beautiful even though your face is like that!” Cassy even scratched her head.
I laughed a little.
My emotions calmed down a bit because of the two of them. I want to have fun later. I don’t know what the consequences will be, but I want to forget for a moment the pain.
I want to forget him. But what can I do if my heart and mind are beating and thinking only for him?