Octavia’s heart felt like it was being ripped apart as Frederick confessed his love for Anthonia. She wanted to scream and shout and lash out at him, but all she could do was stand there in disbelief, tears streaming down her face.
“How could you?” She asked in a broken voice. “Didn’t you think about how this would affect me? What about all the promises you made?”
He hung his head as he answered in a low voice, “I know what I did is wrong and there’s no excuse for my actions. I’m sorry Octavia… I never meant to hurt you.”
She shook her head in confusion as more tears slid down her cheeks.
“But why?” She demanded, her voice trembling with emotion. “Why would you do something like this knowing that it would break my heart?”
He sighed heavily before continuing, “It’s complicated. For the past year I’ve been struggling with stress and anxiety due to some business issues and I thought that if I could find someone who could help me get through it, then maybe things would be better.” He paused before adding quietly, “I guess I was wrong.”
“So I am not enough to ease your stress. I am not enough to be spoken to about it all, right?
You just decided to throw away our relationship without even considering how it might affect me? You didn’t even bother to talk about it first?” Octavia asked incredulously.
Frederick hesitated before admitting reluctantly, “No… No I didn’t.” He reached out a hand towards her, wanting desperately to bridge the gap between them but knowing that she wouldn’t welcome the gesture. When she pulled away from him he let his arm drop back down to his side. Tears welled up in his eyes, saying again, more softly,
“I’m so sorry… I never intended for any of this to happen.”
She stared at him painfully before finally speaking again. Her voice shaking with sorrow.
“Since our vows and our children mean nothing to you?! I wouldn’t be able to stand for this any longer. If you don’t end this relationship with this Jezebel of a girl right now, then I’m taking my children away and leaving you forever!”
He stood there, the words of his wife ringing in his ears. He knew she was serious and that he’d crossed a line he could never come back from, but at the same time he felt powerless to stop himself from falling further into this new sweetness and satisfaction he’d found in Anthonia. He wanted to do right by his family but at the same time he was paralyzed with fear – fear of losing his mistress if he chose to stay with his wife and fear of losing everything if he chose to leave her.
Frederick remained silent for what seemed like an eternity before finally speaking softly. “I’m sorry for the pain I caused,” He said quietly. “But at the same time I can’t let go of what I feel for Anthonia.”
Octavia was shocked to hear her husband choose his mistress over her and his family, but she nodded slowly before turning away from him. She had already made up her mind.
She planned on taking their children and go as soon as possible, before Frederick decided to completely sever ties with them all together.
“Goodbye.” she whispered brokenly under her breath.
***
Frederick felt a wave of joy wash over him as he realized the chains of his marriage had been broken.
His heart raced as he gazed into Anthonia’s eyes, a sense of liberation rushing through him now that his wife had finally gone. His seven-year marriage had been a source of suffocating pressure, and he was eager to deepen his passionate relationship with Anthonia who, in his mind, would take the place of his wife now that she was gone. He could finally pursue his passionate relationship with her without fear of being discovered.
Excitement bubbled up inside him as he exclaimed the news to his mistress, joyfully inviting her to move in with him in his house, to take his former wife’s place, an offer he was sure she would accept. She smiled at him knowingly, and a deep sadness filled her eyes as she shook her head and revealed the truth to him that she too was already married-to a man and three children who lived in London.
Frederick felt like he’d been struck by a lightning bolt, his joy quickly replaced by confusion.
He stared at her in disbelief as he processed what she had just said. Was she really married? He ran a hand through his hair, feeling more confused than ever. He couldn’t believe that she had kept such an important secret from him all this time. He’d always believed her to be single, never married before, and now it seemed like everything he thought was true was actually a lie.
“You lied to me?” He asked, his voice shaking with anger. “You made me believe that you were single and never married before!”
Anthonia sighed and looked up at him. “I didn’t want to scare you away. I was afraid of how you would react if you found out.” she replied truthfully.
“Fred, you’ve really been such a nice man and I enjoyed every moment we’ve shared. I just wanted to see if we could make this work before I told you.”
Frederick shook his head in frustration, feeling a mix of emotions overwhelm him – disappointment, confusion, anger – all swirling inside of him like a storm raging out of control. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the revelations she had brought to him or if it was too much for him to bear.
He walked away from her, unable to look at her for fear that he would do something he would regret later. He wanted desperately for this situation to not be real, for it all to have been a bad dream. But no matter how much he wished it away, the truth remained there between them – undeniable and unavoidable.
He went back home where he could sit and think through his emotions in peace. He thought about what she had said, and felt maybe they could still find a way to be together. But even then he wasn’t sure how that would work out with her husband involved and their children at home in London.